Thursday, May 8, 2008

Living under the Curse

"Research suggests that highly egalitarian women are less happy in their marriages compared with their more traditional counterparts, apparently because they are more troubled by disparities in domestic labor" (read more here).

There's something feminist dogma doesn't elaborate upon, yet the Bible does. As with any medium of sin, the enemy takes a determined look at something that God has ordained and perverts it horribly. This came about when satan deliberately went against God's order of natural creation and sidled up to Eve first instead of Adam. He knew exactly what he was doing. It was no mistake that he propositioned Eve, thereby circumventing the headship of Adam.

Satan continues to ask us, just as he did with Eve, "Did God really say...?" For her part, Eve quoted the rules and boundaries that God had established. But Satan essentially replied back, "No, what God said isn't true." While I can't imagine carrying on a discussion about fruit trees with a serpent, I can imagine how Eve and all of us just as soon are convinced if we give the serpent's thoughts a second chance.

Verses later, after Adam and Eve had been duped into sin, God desired fellowship with them still. Seems like the original couple was playing co-ed naked hide&seek instead. An awkward discussion ensues and shame rears its ugly head. God pronounces a curse upon the serpent, a curse upon Eve, and lastly a curse upon Adam.

All of this preface is tied into the quote I mentioned at the very beginning. Eve's curse was this: "Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16)

And there in the last sentence is the linchpin that explains why (I believe) "egalitarian women are less happy in their marriages." We are living under the power of the curse if we are doggedly attempting to control our husbands and usurp their natural God-given role of head. Maybe that comes off a little too strong, but then again when there are two heads in a relationship, all you end up with is a two-headed monster. There's also logic behind the reason of why the USA isn't run by two Presidents.

But egalitarians may say that what they have going on is a partnership of sorts. Since when does the word "partnership" equate meaning with "equals." It doesn't. Webster's defines it as "a relationship between individuals or groups that is characterized by mutual cooperation and responsibility, as for the achievement of a specified goal." Well, frankly, that sounds like what more traditional models ascribe to as well. Since we're talking "traditional," we'll say that the husband is the primary provider of income, he pays the bills, mows the lawn, tends to the car maintenance, civic responsibilities etc. And the wife is the homemaker, takes care of the children, cooks, cleans, etc. In that scenario, it certainly sounds like both have mutual responsibilities and it sounds like both are living synergistically.

I love the definition for synergism: "the interaction of elements that when combined produce a total effect that is greater than the sum of the individual elements, contributions, etc. The joint action of agents, as drugs, that when taken together increase each other's effectiveness." Wow, what a great example of what a husband and wife can achieve based upon a divison of labor. Maybe you could say I have a "synergist" view of marital roles. :)

So if the curse for womankind is bound to the idea that we will desire to control our husbands, but we won't be able to, what then, can break the curse?

It starts with a dependence upon Christ and what He achieved by dying on the cross for our sins. He alone is able to give us a servant's heart and the humility needed to be a submissive wife. It certainly isn't easy, but then again, we were never told that it would be. More importantly, it is systematically killing our fleshly desires to make way for spiritual abundance. The word pride comes to mind. And isn't that what egalitarian wives are most likely fighting for? Over and over again through the Scriptures we see that we are to humble ourselves before the Lord and He will give us the grace we desperately need.

Oh Lord, may You give Your daughters the ability to humble ourselves before You and before our husbands. That when times get rough and we feel beaten down by the tasks given to us, that You will refresh our spirit with Your Word. May we honor our husbands by submitting to their headship, just as we would submit to You. Father, I know that my husband and I are equally loved by You. Lord give me a willing heart and hardworking hands to be a blessing to my family and those around me. Take away my pride and my longing to protect self. God, how I pray that You would be glorified through my day to day living.

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