Friday, June 19, 2009

33 weeks and counting

It seems like I feel bigger and bigger than the week before, which I'm sure is truly the case. It is hard to believe that we only have 7ish weeks until Caleb arrives. Some friends have said, "You've been pregnant forever!" while others have said, "Wow, only 7 more weeks?!" I feel the same way, my mind agreeing with both ends of the spectrum. More and more I just look forward to meeting him and seeing his little face.

This past weekend my Bible Fellowship class threw me a baby shower along with another pregnant gal, Kristie. We are due about a week and a half apart. I am in awe of everyone's generosity when it comes to welcoming babies with gifts! Truly, every bit helps a mom-to-be and her baby.

Holding the "Wee Block" which was made precisely for little boys during changing. It says "Lil Squirt" on it :)

Evidence of my very practical nature: a Space-Saver high chair

A group shot of all currently pregnant mommas

I have been super busy this week, baking, cooking, and errand running. Wears a girl out, especially now that my feet are becoming easily swollen if I'm not careful or paying attention. It's been dreadfully hot here, today the high is 97. Thank you Lord for air conditioning!

On a serious note, as much as a mom-to-be daydreams and tries to prepare for this momentous life-changing event, one never truly can. Last night I experienced my first panic attack, and my poor husband was witness to it all. I'm not sure who it freaked out more. It was a culmination of thoughts about being a good mother, a good wife, and a good Christian. Combine that with the realization that our lives will never be the same again, and it became a nicely wrapped up package of anxiety. It was surreal, feeling myself get to a breaking point. There I was, feeling extremely overwhelmed before our little boy has even arrived. Poor Brent thought I might start going into labor at any second. I can only imagine how Caleb was feeling at the time! I calmed down after about fifteen minutes and tried to compose myself. I know that God's Word tells us to be anxious for nothing, but through prayer and petition and with thankful hearts, to let our requests be known to God (Philippians 4:6).

It is moments like those that force me to realize how small, weak, and fragile that I truly am. More importantly, I see God more clearly for who He is: immense, mighty, unbreakable.

I am beyond grateful that the God I serve has conquered all, and can never be conquered by anything or anyone. He is. And when I am weak, He is strong.

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