I received this via email and thought it was too funny :)
HOLIDAY EATING TIPS
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see
carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum
balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot
find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it
has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn
into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one
for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the
buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of
eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of
shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if
you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have
some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read
these tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
Have a wonderful Christmas season!!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Let the Christmas Parties Begin!
Lovingly created by Megan at My Heart, My Home at 11:11 AM 0 opinions
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
An Advent Conspiracy
I love this video...
Lovingly created by Megan at My Heart, My Home at 8:00 AM 0 opinions
Labels: Christian living
Monday, December 1, 2008
The Vegas Recap!
Sorry for the slow update with my pictures and commentary from the Vegas trip. If I could sum it up in a simple phrase, it'd be..."total sensory experience." Some of it dazzling, some of it foul.
Day 2: The time change threw us for a loop, albeit the sunrise was beautiful! While Brent began his first day of meetings, I went on the Backstage tour of the Jubilee! show. The Jubilee! show is one of the last remaining traditional showgirls show, hence why I took the backstage tour, and didn't see the real deal! It was so fun to see these giant feathered headdresses and sequined costumes. Unfortunately, pictures weren't allowed, but if it was big, fluffy, and bright, it was backstage! :) We saw the girls' dressing rooms, wig repair room, and seamstress area. Huge productions have always thrilled me, even seeing behind the scenes concepts.
After my fun there, I met up with Brent for lunch at the Eiffel Tower Restaurant. It was divine! As soon as we were whisked off of the elevator into the kitchen, we were given delicate phyllo dough cups with crab dip inside. Amazing! We were taken to our seats where the views were amazing, since we overlooked the Bellagio hotel's fountains. Our waiter was actually from the south of France and had immigrated to the US only four years ago. His accent was to die for...I truly felt like I was in Paris. We ordered some succulent dishes that were no doubt 3,000 calories each. Before we left, our waiter brought over a complimentary dessert, chocolate ganache dusted with powdered sugar. I kid you not, it was the best dark chocolate I've ever tasted. I jokingly told the waiter, "This isn't Hershey's, is it?"
Day 4: Brent and I rented a car and drove out to Boulder City where the Hoover Dam is. We decided to take the insiders' tour and it was very cool! Amazing to see what vision the architects and engineers had in building the dam. Lake Mead, the largest U.S. man made lake was also gorgeous and right by the dam. After several hours there, we headed west of Vegas to see Red Rock Canyon. Even though the desert has a stark beauty about it, it has such depth of texture and color.
Day 5: A journey back to reality...we made our way home leaving sunny low-70s to meet frosty high-20s! Quite the shock to the system.
Lovingly created by Megan at My Heart, My Home at 1:07 PM 0 opinions
Labels: Photos, Show and Tell