Quick update

Sorry I've been absent for awhile. May has really flown by for me. It's been chock full of travel every weekend for the most part. Last week, we were gone to Park City, Utah for business (will post pictures soon), and this weekend, we will be heading to my family's beach cottage for Memorial Day weekend. I cannot tell you how excited I am about going...the last time was 2 summers ago. I've been craving the beach, and I'm not even a beach person!

Next week will mark my final week of work. Brent jokingly calls it my "retirement." In actuality, I know the hardest work of my life will soon begin.

Speaking of hard work....let's just say that the 2nd trimester honeymoon is officially over, and the 3rd trimester aches and pains have reared their ugly heads. I have truly been blessed with an easy pregnancy the first 27 weeks. However, beginning last week, it was as if a switch was turned on and my body just realized that it's blatantly pregnant.

To think I have 11 more weeks of this is an uncomfortable thought. The backaches, waddling, momentous task of bending over or squatting, trying to get out of bed or any chair, peeing constantly, lack of good sleep, and my latest, heartburn. The odd thing about my heartburn is that it isn't food related. Apparently, my uterus has grown enough to begin mashing on my stomach which in turn forces acid upwards into my esophagus. So basically, I'm enduring heartburn without the pleasure of even having eaten delicious food. :-/

Last night at Bible study, while I was praying, I simply asked that God would give me the grace to get through this. And that my pain is nothing compared to what Jesus suffered on the cross. I am leaning on God more than ever now, pleading for physical relief to come soon.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31

As is the case with most people, when in pain, you simply aren't able to feel or act like yourself. That bothers me, because I certainly don't want to be a miserable person in the midst of family and friends. I must remember to give it all to the Lord.

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

So there you have it, a glimpse into what's been going on lately. I hope everyone has a great Memorial Day weekend. Please remember our fallen soldiers and the sacrifices they willingly gave.

Soon to Be SAHW/M

A new chapter in my life is about to begin!

My last day of "paid/public" work will officially be May 29th! After working in this position for 3 years, it will be difficult to leave the great coworkers/supervisors I have. They have been my family away from home :)

No more office or staring at my computer screen for hours on end. Consequently, due to our slooooooow internet connection at home, the blog may suffer some.

Now that my pregnancy has gotten more physically uncomfortable, I am looking forward to being at home where I can walk around freely (outdoors too!) and nap as needed. Also, the amount of cleaning needed at home has begun to pile up since I don't have near the energy to do everything after coming home from a day of work.

Some of my fears about coming home: being lonely, bored, glued to the crappy tv, and regretting leaving my job. I do think that some of those can easily be remedied if I apply myself wisely. Based on other bloggers who stay at home, it seems that with or without children, a routine is a must. I realize however that not all days/schedules are created equal, so some days will be much busier, while others will be lighter.

Some of my hopes about coming home: time to get things done!, scheduling in quiet times with the Lord, exercising, better meal planning (less reliance on dining out), more time for reading/researching at library, keeping up with the laundry for a change, preparing everything for our son's arrival in August, ministry opportunities, and helping family during the day.

And, seriously, I guess I could always read Proverbs 31 for some ideas on what to fill my days with! Ha! :)

Any tips/suggestions from SAHWs or SAHMs? Also, any specific baby preparations?

Stuff floating around in my head

Even though I haven't posted in awhile, my mind has been full of all types of information overload. Forgive me while I feel the need to unload it! Most of these thoughts surround pregnancy/birth, so feel free to skip this if you're not interested.


Bradley Method classes: Before I was pregnant, or even seriously considering trying to get pregnant, I heard much ado about the Bradley Method of childbirthing. At the risk of sounding crazy or just plain ridiculous, it advocates natural birthing without the use of medications. Why have I chosen this route? Much of my birthing philosophy changed after watching The Business of Being Born, a documentary detailing the U.S. maternal healthcare system as well as homebirths and midwifery. For the first time, I truly saw the difference between respecting birth as a natural event versus an emergent disease. Thus began my exploration into birth physiology and the ways that women can work with their bodies (which God designed to do this) and not against them. And yes, I do realize that there is always the possibility of a necessary medical intervention, however I do believe most could have been avoided in the first place.


Anyways, my husband and I have been attending the classes so far and have enjoyed the camaraderie and information shared along the way. It helps knowing that there are like-minded couples who have also chosen this unusual route. I must take the time to say that God has truly blessed us in unexpected ways with this class. When I called the instructor to get information, we found out it was taught on the only available weeknight in our schedule, and that we would be saving over $230 because a local hospital was subsidizing the cost. Praise the Lord! I love how God is involved with even the tiniest details in our lives; not just the crises!

Labor Scriptures: This week as I have been mentally preparing for the upcoming labor in a few months, I thought, "I need to have some Scripture around for that." So using BibleGateway, I looked up several encouraging verses. While the context of these verses does not revolve around labor specifically, I think they are powerful enough to go beyond that and give me strength nonetheless. A few I've jotted down on 3"x5" note cards:

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

"I focus on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race..." Philippians 3:13-14

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me." Psalm 23:4

Pregnancy Exercises: Based on our Bradley Method workbook as well as other books I'm reading, I have been instructed to work on pelvic rocking, squatting, kegels, tailor sitting ("Indian style"), and relaxation techniques. I have come to really appreciate these, since I've been sleeping much better and I am being proactive for the birth. It's giving me some much needed confidence in the process.

Red Raspberry Leaf tea: It is a well-known and commonly used herbal tea that promotes uterine tone, relaxation, and healing. Consequently, it is purported that labors can be easier or faster. I just bought some yesterday but have yet to try it. The brand I ended up purchasing was Traditional Medicinals Organic Pregnancy Tea. Read more about the benefits of Red Raspberry Leaf tea here, here, and here.

Sitting Long & Reading Much: Taking a much needed cue from my blog's blinkie, I am in the process of reading The Birth Book by Dr. William Sears and Bringing Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson. The first is much like a Birth 101 class that covers all the different options and choices surrounding birth, as well as comprehensive chapters on Relaxation, Exercises, and Birth Stories. I am loving and devouring it! I highly recommend this book.

The second book, Bringing Up Boys is just that. Dr. Dobson aims to show that yes, boys and girls are not only anatomically different, but also psychologically. Can you believe that people would argue otherwise?? (In fact, they do!) After being only a few chapters into this book, I had to put it down for a few days because frankly it was just depressing. Not in the sense that "Oh great, I'm about to have a boy!" But rather, "There is so much at stake!" To clarify, Dr. Dobson spends a great deal of time giving statistics on crime, divorce, education, etc. showing that men are the majority affected. Hence, a lot is at stake with culture wars revolving around manhood. This read is fueling my love of sociology :)

So, any experience with any of these things? Birthing classes? Labor aids? Exercises? Herbal helps? Good books?

Easter Pics

23 weeks along...

As my friend Amanda rightly pointed out, Cubbie won't be the baby much longer!

White as Snow

There was a point in my life, several years ago, when I gave up practically everything simply to feel like someone. It is a road that many women have traveled on, seeking fulfillment but ending up scarred. No one ever told me the road would end that way. At least, never did I listen and heed their warnings.

I grew up "churched" and knew basic truths and teachings about God and Jesus. I sang solos of praise and worship songs. Went to youth group faithfully. Somewhere in the midst of being somewhat surrounded by Christianity, it was not until late high school that I finally and personally encountered Christ. I can't remember if it was a single conversation that led to my conversion, but rather the Holy Spirit lifting the gauze from my eyes that had prevented me from connecting truths to personal reality.

By the time that my conversion happened, I was already in a pit of sexual sin. It's difficult for me to type that, since I know that personal friends and family of mine may just now be discovering that. That's okay, because it's not really my story that I'm wanting to tell, but God's, and how His grace is more than enough to cover our sin. He is not ashamed of me, because now I am clothed with the righteousness of Christ. Several years ago, my former self could have never believed that statement to be true. I was riddled with guilt and shame, feeling as if I had been branded with my own scarlet letter. Part of that guilt was warranted, but then well-meaning Christians can sometimes heap unnecessary pain on top of that.

I attended a youth conference once where one of the assemblies was on sexual sin. A skit played out with a girl using an apple as a symbol of one's purity. Everyone thought it was so shiny, so red, so enticing, and so the girl eventually gave her apple away to a young man. After eating part of it, he handed it back to her, chewed on and partially consumed. She kept the apple and would meet other young men, and they too, would take some bites. More and more the apple became discolored over time until only the core was left. Later, people were disgusted when she offered her apple. The message, pure and simple was this: "Who wants that? After it's been chewed up and used?"

There was no follow-up message of grace or of Christ's forgiveness to cover that. There I sat, crying, wanting desperately to feel Christ's love, but now feeling that I was unable to be loved by Him because of my horrible mistakes. Like I had ruined my one and only chance of purity, and I was cheap goods. No one would want me now...





The reason I wrote this post was because I watched this video earlier today that recalls an account eerily similar to the apple skit that has haunted me. After watching this video, I began crying, remembering the shame I felt hearing a similar grace-less message. Only then, how I wished I could have heard that "JESUS WANTS THE ROSE!"

So as one sister to another, can I just take the time and remind you that Jesus wants you, even if you are broken, bruised, ugly, and dirty. He came for you. Remember this truth: “Come now, let’s settle this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool." (Isaiah 1:18)

Post conversion, I wish I could say that I was able to turn my life a full 180 degrees lickety-split, but old habits die hard along with old friendships tied to this world. I was now battling against knowing the truth and still sinning anyway. God didn't let go of me even though I struggled for years; He instead placed people and events along my path to draw me to Him. Granted, His discipline lovingly wounded me, yet I am incredibly grateful for it. Without that, I just as well could still be plodding along a broken road.

And now my heart sings, "Grace, grace, God's grace, grace that will pardon and cleanse within; grace, grace, God's grace, grace that is greater than all our sin!"

And what about those old, fearful questions of "Who will want me now?" The answer is not only Christ, but also a godly man He brought into my life that cares more for me than of my past: my husband. God can redeem anyone regardless of the circumstances.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Another cake creation

I believe it was over a year ago when my mom and I decided to take a Wilton's cake decorating class through Michael's. We took Course 1, the introduction to all things cake decorating. Classes were once a week for a month, lasting about 3 hours per class. I highly recommend it, especially because you can learn a lot even if you've never filled a decorating bag in your life. I hadn't practiced or made a cake really until "The Big Reveal" a couple of weeks ago. Go figure the following week I volunteered to make my mom's birthday cake. Here's what I created! Looks very Mary Englebreit-ish, I think :)

Two of my Faves