Watered down theology

I'm currently reading the book "Building Strong Families" that is a compilation of several great authors: John Piper, Wayne Grudem, Dennis Rainey, and more. The chapter I'm reading now is "The Husband as Prophet, Priest, and King." To give you a preface, since the husband serves as the head of the household, he must likewise serve in the same ways as Christ served the church; prophet, priest, and king.

While most husbands choose not to go into vocational ministry or receive a doctorate in theology, whether they realize it or not, God has chosen them to be the resident theologians within our homes. Therefore, as wives if we are not clear on a doctrinal belief, we should be able to freely discuss the questions with our husbands and expect a sound answer.

Now I realize that not every man is interested in theology, nor do they always know the answer themselves, but every believer (male and female) is instructed to "always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. . " (1 Peter 3:15). Additionally, Paul writes, "If they have any questions, they should ask their husbands at home..." (1 Corinthians 14:35). Douglas Wilson, Reforming Marriage, writes "The tragedy is that many modern women have to wonder why the Bible says they should have to ask their husbands. . . . a husband must be prepared to answer his wife’s doctrinal questions, and if he cannot, then he must be prepared to study so that he can remedy the deficiency."

The quote that made me literally say "Ouch" out loud after I read it however was this:

"Wilson astutely observes that husbands are to blame for the theological breakdown in the church today. “The evangelical world,” he writes, “is throwing away its theological heritage because of doctrinal faithlessness in Christian homes. It is true that pulpits across our country are filled with a swamp and morass of anecdotes, sentimentalist yawp, yippy-skippy worship, and make-it-up-as-you-go-along theology; but the heads of Christian homes have been willing to have it so. As the expectations for men in the evangelical world have gotten lower, men have not objected—they have breathed a sigh of relief.”

Ouch again. Whew.....it seems even more convicting with each time I read it. Now please don't misunderstand my reasoning behind this post. It was not meant to bash our husbands, create contempt, etc. It was meant to establish and affirm the importance of our husbands being the prophets or resident theologians within our homes.

As wives though, I don't think we can completely let ourselves off the hook either. How many times have I simply gone to a Christian website to research a topic without asking my husband first? And while I'm not saying that our husband's take is the only one we should seek, I am saying that we should come to them first with our questions. How many times have I unintentionally not allowed him to rightly take his place as prophet within the home? By going to our husbands first, I do think that that will only foster confidence and challenge them to up their theological game.

Sewing help, please!

I came this close to buying a sewing machine last week. Aside from debating the price tags on the machines, I'll admit it: I don't know much about sewing. I see the obvious value of owning one, and I'm crafty as it is, so I figured why not?

I'm a hesitant shopper regarding most things, and considering the price tag on most sewing machines, even lesser expensive ones ($80+), I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I am scared that I'll go on a sewing binge and then store it away for a decade until I bring it back out.

This is my call for help here. If you're experienced or maybe just a wannabe like me, please feel free to comment. For now, please adjust your answers to a beginner's needs if you're able to do so.

1. What features are truly necessary on a machine? Which ones are not?



2. Is brand name really that important? Is there a difference in quality for example?



3. Besides the obvious machine, what other items should be purchased to get started and for basic projects? And how much would a minimum investment be?



4. Is it truly cost saving to create most items?? (I worry that I'll end up spending far more on the fabric or notions than it would actually cost to buy from somewhere like TJ Maxx or Ross).



5. Do you need to buy a Sewing 101 type of book or take a class to learn sewing? Or is it possible to just experiment on your own and be self-taught?



6. What have been the biggest challenges in learning sewing?



7. If you knew then what you know now, what would that be?
   

If I think of anything else, I'll update my questions. All comments are welcome, regardless if you respond to the aforementioned items :)

I already have a project in the queue so to speak; it's a great apron pattern that I'll post later once I get started on it.

My Titus 2 Woman

What should you look for in a godly female role model?

Look no further than Titus 2:3-5, "Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God."

My Titus 2 woman is Linda whom I met about a year and a half ago. Her husband Jim was our Bible Fellowship class leader. Before I met Linda, I never knew there could be godly women with larger than life personalities. Somewhere along my way of learning about good Christian women, this idea of a timid little mouse had infiltrated my ideals. And sadly I became kind of brainwashed to that concept all the while beginning to dislike myself. You see, if you're wacky and spunky like me, I began to think there was no place for this girl in the Kingdom. (Maybe I could be the court jester)? I can see clearly how Satan lies to us through these crazy myths that so easily entangle us; only self-sabotaging the life that God calls us to live in abundance.

Well, Linda blew that myth out of the water. Here was a woman who lit up a room much like firecrackers light up the sky. She was full of energy, robust, feisty, sincere, funny, and to sum her up completely, passionate. The more time we spent together, the more I realized that it was okay to be myself. I wrote her a letter one time thanking her for giving me permission so as to speak, to be me. Not only did she have a joie de vie, she knew Who she belonged to.

When you finally have an epiphany of the heart that yes, God does love you for who you are, at your best, at your worst, and no, nothing will ever change that, you are suddenly free. Free to be who He created you to be. The girl who loves clothes, and the girl who could care less. The geek. The prep. The tomboy. The artist. The techie. The tree-hugger. The drama queen. We will all be represented in Heaven one day. And that is a very beautiful thing.

Linda, despite her dominant personality, can easily display her gentle submissiveness to her husband. You can tell when she looks at him that she honestly admires him. He leads, she follows. She always praises him to others and finds delight while doing so.

She's been a great model to show the complementary nature of marriage; headship and submission, masculinity and femininity, love and respect, give and take. I intentionally used and instead of versus because these areas should not compete with one another. They are both equally valued and therefore equally necessary to provide balance.

God knew what He was doing when He created the gift of relationship. The idea of older and younger women coming together to share life, wisdom, laughs, and so much more is brilliant. Every woman needs a friend who's a safety net that will gently catch her and help her back up on her feet when she falls. If you don't have a Titus 2 woman in your life, I encourage you to take the risk and initiative in asking someone who's caught your eye. And consider this, if you're already older, there may be a younger woman who's looking at you! I hope that I won't forget the cycle of the Titus 2 woman; that it's not always being the younger woman who's taught, but also the older woman who passes down wisdom.

Snow Day

My Snow Day in pictures from yesterday.... I am so glad that I could stay home and enjoy God's creation. What a creative God we serve! I'm always amazed at the beautiful scenes He so easily paints. I also had time to try out two new recipes and they both turned out great (see photos and recipe links below). In between baking and preparing food, I swooned over Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck in Roman Holiday and sang along to the new Hairspray version. Hey, a girl's gotta take advantage of girlie movies while her fella's away. ;)

Backyard view





The quintessential taking-a-photo-of-yourself-with-arms-hyperextended-and-praying-your-face-made-it-into-the-lens photo

Cubbie enjoying the snow

Where does this path lead?

A beautiful hidden creek

Snowy boots by the fire

My snowflake candle that I love

I finally got to bake these yummies and they were divine

I love the snow

Slow cooker Chicken & Dumplins' for dinner

When all hope is lost, God still remains.

To my readers, I'm going to go ahead and apologize for the fact that it seems I've been posting some pretty depressing posts here recently. I promise after this next one, I'll try to post more lighthearted ones. Deal?

Earlier this week I met with a patient at work and could sense something was wrong. If I hadn't taken the time to really determine what was wrong, I would have merely brushed off her pithy responses as an 'attitude problem.' I'm so thankful that I moved beyond my first impression of her. She had mentioned that she had been recently discharged from the hospital only last weekend.

The Holy Spirit nudged me and pointed out her hurt. I could tell she was fragile, as if struggling not to cry. I left her for a few minutes and while back in my office searched for a scripture verse to hand her. I chose Romans 8:28 (NLT), "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." As I went back in to see her, I prayed for courage and faith that God would work in this tiny moment. I gingerly held the verse in my hand wondering how exactly to preface this gift.

I looked her in the eyes and said, "Ma'am, I can tell you're hurting. And I don't know what you're going through, but I know that God does." Tears began rolling down her cheeks.

"He sees your hurt and He loves you. I'd like to give you this verse, and I want you to know that He knows exactly what you're dealing with."

I passed her some Kleenex while she thanked me through tears. We left the room and walked quietly together to the lobby where I wished her a happy 2008.

It was only minutes after I left her in the lobby, that I discovered she had been admitted to the hospital last week for attempting suicide. It had also not been her first attempt either. Immediately, tears welled up in my eyes. I prayed thanking God for blessing me with the opportunity of encouraging her and God-willing, letting her know that she has Hope. When all hope is lost, God still remains.

I'd like to end this post with an anecdote I heard several months ago that I've never forgotten:

Dr. Jerome Motto recounts a particularly sobering bridge suicide occurring sometime in the 1970s. "I went to this guy's apartment afterward with the assistant medical examiner… The guy was in his thirties, lived alone, pretty bare apartment. He'd written a note and left it on his bureau. It said, 'I'm going to walk to the bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way, I will not jump.'"

One smile, one “hello”, one door held open might not save someone’s life. But it might.

Insured by Smith & Wesson

This will be a quickie entry for now, but I just had to tell this, because I am still in shock over it. Back in November, we moved from our beautiful new home in a great neighborhood to a fixer-upper condo close to our wonderful church.

I am amazed at God's mercy, because we found out from a neighbor from our previous neighborhood, that our old home got broken into!!!! :( I was blown away when he informed us. Apparently it happened around 10 a.m. last Friday while the family went out for errands. They came back and the front door had been kicked in and various electronics stolen.

I told Brent, "If that doesn't confirm our obedience to move, I don't know what does...." Needless to say, while I am extremely thankful that it did not happen to us, I am saddened and concerned for the current family. I feel even worse because they are new believers, new U.S. immigrants, and new to the state. It still surprises me it happened due to the location of the house, (right in the middle of the neighborhood), and that there are loads of retirees, dog walkers, SAHMs, etc. It looks like someone would have seen the thieves. Please pray for the Ding family that God would restore peace and comfort to them and their home.

In other related news, Brent now wants a shotgun.

The Letters

Preface: Back in February of 2006, I made the decision to sponsor a little girl from India through Compassion International. At the time, the idea of having a pen pal relationship was unique to me, and even cool. Let alone giving monetary support to give her meals, some gifts, and access to education and healthcare all done in Jesus' most wonderful name! What greater gift is there? If I had known then, what I know now about how my heart has been transformed from this sweet child of mine, I wouldn't have believed it.

As Christians, our paths or journeys to righteousness vary greatly. For some, there is a Holy Spirit lightbulb moment, where suddenly everything changes in an instant. For others, we cannot give a defining moment, yet we can trace the Holy Spirit's influence quite clearly through certain conversations or circumstances. My heart has been changed via the latter method.

I cannot tell you the instance I fell in love with my child, nor can I tell you when my burden for India and it's people was pressed upon me. I only know that as humanly and divinely as possible, that I love this little girl that I have never met and we are oceans apart. It's a special and different bond since we have never talked face to face, let alone in the same language. We vary in age by 15 years, and the culture gap, as you may imagine, is vast. But what is not vast, is the ability for God to orchestrate our precious relationship and the way that words can touch your very heart.

The letters are very precious to me, they are in fact, the only way I ever learn anything about her. When my mailbox contains an envelope that reads, "Enclosed is a letter from your sponsor child," my heart leaps with joy. I immediately fumble and clumsily tear the seal to read her very own words and her beautiful swirling handwriting. And the letters themselves come only a few times a year, so their arrival is a much anticipated one. "Dear Aunty" as she calls me, "I pray for you often." In one simple sentence, you are humbled and blessed. She writes about her daily chores or favorite flower, and thankfully, she oftentimes writes about my letters that I have sent her: "Thank you for telling me about Christ and Easter." More than ever, I deeply desire for her to know Christ personally, to know that He is real, He is love, He is more than she'll ever need.

After receiving her letters, they are either displayed on our fridge or filed away in our Missions folder. Last Saturday, however, was a turning point.

I opened the folder to find only two of her previous letters. "Where are all the rest?" I wondered to myself. I dug through other folders thinking, "perhaps they were misplaced." At this point, I suddenly became panicked, because after all, this is the only place where her letters are stored. I quickly called my husband, "Where are the letters?!"

In one simple sentence, you are crushed in one fell swoop.

"I think I threw them away."

The look on my face, the pain in my heart, the sound of my crying is something I'm sure he will not soon forget. I'll be transparent here, because in all honesty, Christians need to be more so. I bawled for an hour. It was all I could do to not say something unkind to my husband. Ladies, I know you've been there, and that it is so easy to unload our anger on our loved ones. I haven't been that upset in years. The accusations, questions, disbelief, shock, anger; they were all there. But by the grace of God, He kept my angry tongue silent.

My precious letters, gone.
Forever.

This, my friends, is where the rubber meets the road. Where the act of forgiveness is commanded, but your heart is most certainly not in it. And you are torn. These daily circumstances are what etch either godliness or sinfulness onto our hearts. It's what defines us as Christians really. My husband apologized for the pain he had caused.

I chose, and I do mean that quite deliberately, to forgive. My heart still aches, and I've caught myself crying or welling up at the thought of the Letters. But as Paul tells us, we must take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ. I cannot let Satan to influence a grudge towards my husband. I cannot let him make me an emotional slave to the Letters for the rest of my life.

Whenever I begin to think of the missing Letters, I tell God, "Lord, You are the only One who knows what those letters spoke of. You are the only One who knows the physical location of those letters. I entrust them to You. You alone are worthy. You are the only One who knows how much I treasured them, and how much it broke my heart. I trust that You will give me accurate memory of her words to write her with. And I hope that if possible, I will read those again one day in Heaven."

This entry is in honor of Essakkiamal and how much her Letters have truly been a blessing in my life. Though I will never tell her that her precious letters are now gone, I can say that I will treasure her future letters all the more. This entry is also a testiment to the Holy Spirit and His amazing ability to provide grace to me and to you, even through the most difficult of times.