A Day in My Life, by Caleb

Trying to lift my head

Talking sports with Daddy

Posing for Mommy

Watching tv with Poppie

Sitting up

Falling asleep after eating

Birdwatching off the balcony

Practicing to be a big boy one day

Cuddling with Daddy

Acting silly at bathtime

Being cute all the time

Thoughts on Motherhood, 7.5 weeks in

Random stuff I'm currently learning:

• Moms don't get to punch the clock, it really is a 24/7 job. Holidays and vacations take on a whole new meaning as well.
• Who knew such a small human being could fill up a sedan with baby gear?
• I analyze poop on a daily basis. His, not mine. ;)
• Sleep deprivation makes me somewhat evil.
• I love sitting in the glider, rocking Caleb to sleep.
• Finding his precious baby hair on his sheets makes me sad.
• Clothing sizes do not match Caleb's chronological age...he easily wears 3-6 month clothing, and he'll be 8 weeks in a couple of days.
• A basket full of dirty baby clothes only equates to a small load in the washer. :)
• I am married to an amazing husband who is an equally amazing father. He even does nighttime feedings on the weekends to allow me much needed sleep.
• I could squeeze a pudgy baby face all day long :)
• I have way more respect for moms of multiples. I really don't know how I'd be able to cope with more than one infant at a time.
• Soy formula makes for smelly baby burps
• I love watching him explore the world. Staring outside from his bouncy seat, taking it all in.
• I really had no clue what I was in for when I was pregnant. That was the easy part!
• Having family live in the same city is a major blessing.
• Because I talk mostly to a baby all day, I am a little too eager to have adult conversation, and desperately stretch out dialogue.
• I find it hard to believe that the same pair of baby eyes I stare into, will be the very same eyes I look into when he's thirty years old.
• Breastfeeding was not only a physical challenge, but an emotional one as well.
• No one knows my baby like I do :)
• Babies 'R Us is not as romantic as it used to be, back in my single days. It's now the equivalent of going to the grocery store, necessary but a pain.
• My heartstrings have been tugged as I have already packed away some baby clothes. Will another future son get to use them? Who knows?
• Finding new fat folds each week is a new hobby of mine.
• I kinda get why 'only children' exist....
• I'm sorry I ever thought mean things in my head to moms with crying babies in stores.
• I love how angelic he looks while he sleeps.
• Strangers do not respect the "canopy down" position on his carrier. If it's down, it's down for a reason, usually because my poor kid gets easily overstimulated, so please...don't lift it!
• I regret not having taken more photos thus far.
• I love hearing him make new sounds for the first time.
• He is my son and I hope he knows how much I truly love him.

Reading like a Fiend

In what little time I do have to do whatever, aside from getting dressed and washing bottles, I have been reading up a storm. No surprise here, they're all parenting books. Perhaps you've heard of them, swear by them, or think they're a load of bologna.

On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo: Details an "infant management plan to help babies synchronize their feeding, waketime, and nighttime sleep cycles."

The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp, MD: "The new way to calm crying and help your newborn baby sleep longer." Explores the 5 S's: Swaddling, Side/Stomach, Shushing, Swinging, and Sucking.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, MD: Helping to shape sleep habits from infant to teen. Explores a scientific approach behind the need for sleep.

The Baby Whisperer solves all your problems by Tracy Hogg: Teaching parents the right questions to ask concerning feeding, sleeping, and behavior to diagnose your child's issues.

Having read these four books, I've learned a few things. Mainly, there is no one, right way to raise your child. Seemingly, most of the information contradicts each other. Two of the books use the "cry it out" or "extinction" method, while the other two advocate soothing your baby upon first cry. I guess I'm kinda using the middle of the road approach. Do I think I will somehow damage or destroy Caleb's trust in me by letting him cry it out every now and then? No. Do I think I'm being manipulated by Caleb if I cuddle him when he cries? No. All I know is that I'm doing my best with what I know.

Pretty much all the books deplore the idea of rocking your child to sleep, as it will inevitably cause a dependence upon it to fall asleep. While I do think this could be a problem with an older baby, for a six week old, I don't think that's an issue quite yet. I find it strange that almost every nursery has a glider or rocker in it, and yet "experts" tell you not to use it that much.

Swaddling works like a charm however, and doesn't have the same "ill effects" of rocking. When Caleb is a little fussbucket, swaddling helps him calm down almost immediately. That, and he loves his Binky :) Not to worry, he won't be one of those poor three year olds that is still sucking away on it.

Thank the Lord he does really well at night. We're still not yet sleeping through the night, but after he feeds, he goes right back to bed. I only wish the poor kid could nap decently during the day. As it is, the world must be way too exciting for him, because he'll stay awake and observe everything. I am amazed to watch his eyes soak everything in, studying things meticulously. By the way he looks at me, I think he could mold my face out of clay pretty easily.

This afternoon, we shared one of those moments that you will forever cherish, and wish that you could freeze it and it would last indefinitely. As I held him, our cheeks were touching together, and I could feel his baby breath upon my face. It was so intimate, and my heart simply overflowed with love.

I cannot believe that my little boy is already six weeks old. It is going by so incredibly fast. I have to be intentional in savoring the little moments between all of the mundane tasks like changing diapers, burping, bathing, washing bottles, and folding his baby clothes. How is it that someone so small and so dependent can steal your heart away?

I've been thinking of a passage lately that has even more meaning now, since I am a mother.

Isaiah 49:14-16 "But Zion said, 'The LORD has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.' 'Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.'"

How could it be that a mother could ever forget her child? It seems impossible, doesn't it? A love so strong...yet weak in comparison to God's love for us. May we remember how special we truly are to God every day.

Caleb's Birth Story

Preface: A week prior to his arrival my OB had informed me I was already effaced 70% and dilated 3 cm. I was ecstatic and couldn't wait to hear additional good news the following week (assuming progress obviously had to have been made). On Thursday, July 30th, I went to my appointment and eagerly had my internal exam. To my extreme disappointment, no changes had reportedly occurred. After all of the walking I had been doing daily, as well as feeling like I had something like the flu, I was upset to say the least. It was 5:30 pm by the time I left my OB's office and I sobbed the entire way home. When I got home, I told Brent how upset I was...I was physically miserable and couldn't bear the thought of going much longer (at this point I was 5 days away from my due date). To help cheer me up, we ordered a pizza and rented a movie to relax that evening. I chatted with my friend Michelle around 9:00 pm, retelling the whole doctor visit while she attempted to encourage me. A little later, Brent and I finally settled into bed, totally unaware that in less than a few hours, our son would be born!

At midnight I awoke with major cramping and contractions. I hadn't felt anything like that sensation before. It was nothing like the Braxton-Hicks contractions I had been experiencing all week. I began using the relaxation techniques that we had been trained with, attempting to relax all my muscles, allowing my body to let go, and breathe slow, deep abdominal breaths. I remember thinking to myself, "If these are not real contractions, I'm afraid to find out what real ones feel like..." I didn't want to wake Brent unnecessarily, so I laid in bed a little while longer, watching the clock to see the spacing between contractions. At about 12:30 am, I left our bedroom and headed into the den. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil and began tracking the time each contraction began. Each one seemed to grow in intensity and come faster than before.

It was getting quite rough at this point...I began trying all of the laboring positions we had learned: side-lying, kneeling, all fours, etc. The pain was so intense. I had desired to labor at home as long as possible for comfort reasons, as well as to confirm that I was indeed in active labor. I was not about to be turned away from the hospital for false labor. At 2:00 am, I waddled my way back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of Brent's side of the bed. It was still dark in the room, and I nudged his arm some to awaken him. He slowly turned over and all I could do at the time was breathe heavily and hold my belly. I told him, "I think I'm in labor..." After a few minutes of catching him up on the past two hours, we began to get things ready.

Thankfully, we had already packed our bags, but there were things like toiletries that still needed to be packed. My contractions at this point were coming every minute, and I could barely walk, move, do anything in between them. I remember attempting to go to the bathroom before leaving, and the whole process probably took five minutes, simply trying to lift my underwear back up, flush, and get up. Meanwhile, Brent was scurrying around, packing, but also wanting to confirm that I was in true labor. He was carrying a timer for the contractions and asked me to let him know when I was having one. I began moaning and groaning at this point. He asked, "Are you having one now?" (This is the first time I snapped at him) I said, "IF I'M MOANING, THEN I'M HAVING A CONTRACTION!!!!" LOL! Poor sweet Brent....

The next step was literally getting me to the car. Since we live in a condominium complex, this a little easier said than done...especially when you're having contractions a minute apart, live on the second floor, and have the furthest away assigned parking space. To be honest, I don't remember getting to the car. Brent was already there packing the trunk and placing a towel in my seat in case my water broke on the way to the hospital. Before we got in the car, Brent suggested we try to walk some around the parking lot. Our birthing instructor had suggested this, because if you're in true labor, walking only intensifies the pain, but if false, then usually it will subside. We're alone in the dark parking lot at 2:30 am, and I begin to walk. I got about fifteen feet and grabbed onto Brent's neck and held on for dear life. I believe it was then, that Brent realized, this was the real deal.

As with walking to the car, I don't remember the ride to the hospital. It was simply a blur, and my eyes were closed most of the time dealing with the pain. At that time of morning, it literally would take five minutes to get there. I could've sworn it took thirty. Every bump in the pavement felt magnified times ten.

We wheeled up to the hospital, Brent grabbed a wheelchair and we began the trek inside. (When we had gone on the maternity tour, we were instructed to go to Admissions first which was on the ground floor, then we were told to proceed to the fourth floor, Labor & Delivery). Brent wheeled me over to the Admissions office which was completely dark and locked and said, "But we're supposed to go here first..." (This was the second and last time I snapped at him) I said, "GO TO THE 4TH FLOOR!!!"

We get to the desk and a game of 20 Questions begins and I'm required to answer. Yes, the woman who can't open her eyes because of pain is getting asked, "What's your Social?" Okay, this is exactly why we did the pre-registration; where did all that information go? I think the woman got my drift and I was whisked away to Triage where I was to be checked for dilation. Here, my personal equivalent of an Olympic event was asked of me. The nurse told me to move from the wheelchair to the bed, and to put on a gown...all without her assistance. This is that point in the movies where a patient yells at the top of their lungs, "NURSE!!!!!" I swear angels got me undressed in that moment...there's really no other way to explain it. I somehow managed the nurse's requests in the now thirty seconds of rest between my contractions. After checking me, she informed me I was now 100% effaced and 6 cm dilated. Holy moley....I was going to have a baby. And soon.

I was wheeled to a labor & delivery room where consent forms, monitors, and a nurse were busily getting me ready for Caleb's debut. Meanwhile, I'm still having monstrous contractions, and as I previously blogged about, we were planning for a natural childbirth. Due to the speed of my contractions and the fact that I was having barely any rest or time to "get on top of" the contractions, we made the decision to opt for the epidural. I am thankful that in that moment, I did not feel like a failure or any less of a woman because I chose the epidural. I also didn't want Brent to be disappointed in me (and he wasn't). After receiving the epidural, the normal Megan returned. It was actually quite comical, because up until that moment, I had had several women (nurses and anesthesiologist) working quite ahem personally on me, and I hadn't even introduced myself! Imagine, what self-respecting southern woman would do such a thing? I literally began introducing myself to the staff, thanking them for their help, and apologizing for my uncouth behavior prior to the epidural. LOL!

Shortly thereafter as I was lying in bed peacefully, I felt a gush of really warm water. Naturally, I thought, "Did I just pee on myself?" And then I realized, "No, that was definitely not pee...and oh great, I just created a big mess on the bed..." I tell ya what, the whole labor & delivery process gets a girl beyond the ick factor concerning bodily fluids. Have mercy! And God bless those nurses....they see and do it all for complete strangers. Brent got a little woozy after accidentally witnessing my water break and sat down on the couch nearby. This is the man who looks away and shivers during medical reality shows. Poor sweet Brent...

Meanwhile, my labor was progressing quickly still and Brent liked watching the monitors while my contractions spiked and peaked, each one doing its intended work, bringing me one step closer to meeting my precious boy. I was still able to feel them by pressure, but it was certainly a relief to not feel the overwhelming pain I had been experiencing before. By 7:30 am, I was at 10 cm. Like a lot of OB/GYN practices, you don't know which OB will be delivering you, until the appropriate time comes. I was so happy that my favorite OB was going to be delivering me. :) God had indeed worked everything out. Dr. B. visited and checked me, said he could feel Caleb's head and based on palpating my tummy, guesstimated that Caleb would be less than 8 pounds. I must've had a surge of the epidural, because I outright laughed in his face and said, "Yeah right! He'll be more than that!" I then asked him, "You wanna make a bet?!" He laughed and smiled and continued the exam. He informed me another woman was about to deliver, so I would most likely see him again after that.

From about 7:30 to 8:30, I took a quick nap, knowing the hardest but most rewarding work of my life was about to begin. I wasn't sure what to expect concerning the coaching portion of pushing, but I was really surprised that only a nurse was with us. It felt so intimate, just the three of us. From 8:30-9:00 she coached me with pushing. This was the hardest part, because I was trying to get Caleb's head wedged beyond my pelvis. She brought a mirror in to help me see and understand what we were trying to accomplish with each forceful push. It was the strangest thing to witness...my son's head getting closer and closer to crowning. Brent was an amazing husband throughout all of it, holding my leg, encouraging me, and simply loving me. He had told me previously that he was just going to be looking at my face during the delivery, but then he realized that he had the awesome chance to witness a miracle in real-time.

After thirty minutes, I had finally gotten his head wedged beyond my pelvis, and this was the fun part. Yes, I said fun. I knew I was only minutes away from holding my son in my arms, and this gave me the most determination in my life. Meanwhile, Dr. B. still had yet to make it back into my room, but the sensation that you're experiencing then, is that "It's time to push, and push I will!" Suddenly, my nurse had stopped saying "Push, Push, Push!" and was now saying, "Don't push! Don't push!" since Dr. B wasn't back yet. He finally came in, and could barely get gloved, gowned, and masked in time for the delivery.

I was grunting and pushing like my life depended on it. These pushes felt different than the other ones, because it felt good to push, and I felt relief...much like a bowel movement.

At 9:33 am on Friday, July 31st, 2009, with a loud wail Caleb Sheridan came into the world. I was a blubbering fool, bawling tears of joy and relief. The moment was surreal. Brent was laughing and crying at the same time. Holding Caleb in my arms for the first time was just amazing. I remember saying, "My lil pudge..." After some cuddling and Brent cutting the umbilical cord, the nurses began working away, taking measurements and such.

So what did my precious little boy weigh? He weighed 8 pounds, 11 ounces! When we heard that news, I laughed and told Dr. B., "You owe me an ice cream!" He was 21 inches long too. To watch video of the birth, click here...

We are so blessed to have a healthy little boy who is teaching us so much about patience, dependence on God, humility, and God's sovereignty. Today marks Caleb's 1 month birthday! :) Happy 1 month, little one!!!

Still here! Just playing the waiting game...

"Any day now..." those are words I've repeated to curious strangers and friends, as well as reassuring myself on a moment by moment basis. I have been 'nesting;' it finally kicked in and revealed itself through reorganizing several kitchen cabinets, cleaning both bathrooms, and also by scrubbing down the door frames. :) As I was cleaning the door frames, I said aloud, "I can't believe I never noticed this dirt before!" Indeed, as if anyone goes around noticing the grime on door frames, especially the lower third.

The bags have been (mostly) packed, the laundry done, the carseat installed, and the stockings hung by the chimney with care. Basically, we're in need of the little human that accompanies all of those things :)

I promised photos of his completed nursery, but I'll do you one better. Visit my husband's recent blog post, and you can actually watch a before & after video he recorded of it. The room really came out well, I just want Caleb to see it for himself!

So here's where my self-centeredness comes in. I need your prayers. If you can imagine any random type of petition that arises during the waiting period, labor, delivery, and post-partum...then I will happily accept your prayers. I was blessed to have a dear friend pray for me via phone yesterday and it's just amazing to know that God does hear our prayers and always answers them according to His divine best for us. Prayer isn't the last resort, it's the first!

This post will be highly random...I'm having lots of little mundane thoughts with no real depth to them, but just feel the need to dish them out. :) Call it 'pregnancy brain' if you wish...

• Caleb received his first Appalachian State onesie and I cannot tell you how happy that makes me. I have been meaning/wanting to buy one but they are next to impossible to find off the mountain. Consequently, I really want to go to Homecoming this year and let him hear tens of thousands fans chanting, "Gooooo Appalachian! Gooooo Appalachian!"



• Yet another note on certain onesies...it really bugs me to see some say things like, "Mommy's new man" or "It's all about the attitude" or "Tax Deduction." These are all very degrading in my opinion...especially the ones that connote that daddy is now completely off the radar and now yesterday's leftovers.



• Earlier this week I completely lost my navigational skills while driving. (Now if you would ask my husband, he might have a differing opinion on when that actually happened, lol). For the first time during the pregnancy, I realized "so this is what people are referring to!" I ended up taking the completely wrong exit.



• And have I officially joined the ranks of hmmm, how do I say it...."white trash?" Because my husband and I royally fail at growing anything that is supposed to be green while it's alive, we have now planted fake flowers on our balcony. And because I am one frugal lady, my only stipulation was that he buy them from Dollar Tree. Dollar Tree!!! Yes....we is hiiigh class!



• The nursery is pretty much complete. I will post pictures once I get everything in its place. I was so glad to be able to finish the glider's slipcover with my sister this week. Thanks, Mere! The last baby task that I am attempting to delay until as late as possible (but how do you do that when you have no idea when you'll go into labor?!) is all the blessed laundry. All of the clothes, bedding, and cloth diapers must be washed, dried, folded, and stored.



• Now that I am a few days into my 36th week, I am getting antsy. Thankfully, not neurotically so...yet....but it's just so hard to believe that Caleb will certainly be here very soon. I find myself sitting in his room peering around imagining him using the crib, changing table, swing, etc. And I look at all the little clothes, just waiting to see him in them. I think I remember my sister saying that one of the fun parts with a baby is getting to pick out what they'll wear for the day :) This makes me happy :-D



• Obviously, because the birth is imminent, like all moms-to-be, I'm curious to see what labor/delivery will truly be like. All the birth stories in the world are as unique as the individuals themselves. Part of me thinks it will be the most horrendous pain in the world, while the other part thinks that I can do it, because billions of women have. And for whatever reason, I think of Mary going through labor in a stable with only Joseph by her side and how she got through it. I've heard women remark that their faith became much more real to them on delivery day...and I trust God will take care of me then too.



• My precious nephew turns the big 2 today! Happy Birthday little buddy! I can't wait to see him and Caleb grow up together and do cousin-y boy things.

Don't you just love his messy little face?





• Okay, I just thought of yet one more rather important baby task....packing my hospital bag. Once again....delaying that until as late as possible. Am I in denial or something?



• I finally cleaned out a box of random stuff that's been occupying my trunk for who knows how long. It was stuff I knew I wanted to keep that I just hadn't bothered organizing. One of the little gems I unpacked was a tablecloth that my grandmother used once upon a time. It's bright, cheerful, and summery and it fits our small table perfectly. There are red and yellow flowers on it with a blue gingham print around it. I like looking at it, knowing that she used to use it too :) Plus, it's amazing how much homier a tablecloth makes a place look.



• We went and ate at a soda shoppe last night which is entirely too cute. The waitresses wear poodle skirts, it has black and white flooring, a free jukebox, red vinyl booths, etc. Both Brent and I said we wished we could've lived in the '50s. Everything seemed simpler then and at least somewhat more wholesome. And the cars were much cooler :) So if you could choose, what decade would you like to live in?

Okay, that's all for now....sigh.....I wish Caleb were here!! :-D

Week 35 Pregnancy Update

Holy moly, I can't believe there are roughly five weeks left until Caleb's arrival! This post will be small but chock full, kinda like a multivitamin.

Last week after some issues like high blood pressure and proteinuria came about, I had to complete some additional labwork. Praise the Lord everything came back normal and negative. We were able to see Caleb again on the ultrasound and he has really changed since we last saw him at 20 weeks old. The kid has very visible chubby cheeks!

Apparently, the chubbiness is not only limited to his cheeks, but his overall development. After taking measurements of his skull, abdomen, femur, and arm, he is already averaging the size of a 37 week old....two weeks larger than average! Thinking of this makes my woman parts hurt..lol. They guesstimate his weight at already 7 pounds, so he very well could be 9 pounds at birth if he keeps up this rate of growth. His feet are measuring at 3 inches, kinda large...but then again, his daddy wears a size 13 shoe.

Due to some additional fluid in the amniotic sac (which is not necessarily a bad thing), I'll now be going twice a week (instead of once) to have non-stress tests (NSTs) done on Caleb. Basically, all that consists of is strapping a monitor to my belly for 20-30 minutes and recording fetal activity. This kid seems to be always moving, so I don't think it will be much of an issue.

Thank you for your continued prayers! He will be here before you or I know it! :)