Happy Mother's Day!!!

My sister Meredith and I have truly been blessed to have a mom like ours. She passed on her love of desserts to us and our family is known to bring the best desserts to any type of function. She decorates her home with various collections: vintage flower prints, teapots, flower frogs, and antique porcelain figurines circa WWII era. She's known as "Babs" to her friends, "Honey" to my dad, but to me she's "Mom." An avid reader and gardener, she fills her days post-retirement on the back porch reading or on her knees digging in the dirt in her yard. She is a Jazzercise Queen. She has logged some serious hours of retail therapy, though mainly at any antique store along the East Coast. She worked tirelessly as a teacher in elementary and middle school grades, yet she still had time for two pupils and their homework after dinner. She serves as my dad's 'first mate' when they sail. She is my number one fan and wants front-row seats at my concerts when I become famous. She put up with my strong personality alot growing up, but she'd never tell you otherwise. She loves the color pink. I remember the time she backed out of the garage while the door was still down. I was laughing, she wasn't. She spends much of her time helping her mother get groceries and going to doctors' appointments. She's in church every Sunday and making a joyful noise as unto the Lord. She loves the beach and will spend hours there reading or laying out. She allowed me to get my ears pierced, only if I stopped sucking my thumb. I was eight. She is humble and doesn't force her way on anyone. She is extremely generous with her love and time.

In short, she's my mom. And I love her.

Living under the Curse

"Research suggests that highly egalitarian women are less happy in their marriages compared with their more traditional counterparts, apparently because they are more troubled by disparities in domestic labor" (read more here).

There's something feminist dogma doesn't elaborate upon, yet the Bible does. As with any medium of sin, the enemy takes a determined look at something that God has ordained and perverts it horribly. This came about when satan deliberately went against God's order of natural creation and sidled up to Eve first instead of Adam. He knew exactly what he was doing. It was no mistake that he propositioned Eve, thereby circumventing the headship of Adam.

Satan continues to ask us, just as he did with Eve, "Did God really say...?" For her part, Eve quoted the rules and boundaries that God had established. But Satan essentially replied back, "No, what God said isn't true." While I can't imagine carrying on a discussion about fruit trees with a serpent, I can imagine how Eve and all of us just as soon are convinced if we give the serpent's thoughts a second chance.

Verses later, after Adam and Eve had been duped into sin, God desired fellowship with them still. Seems like the original couple was playing co-ed naked hide&seek instead. An awkward discussion ensues and shame rears its ugly head. God pronounces a curse upon the serpent, a curse upon Eve, and lastly a curse upon Adam.

All of this preface is tied into the quote I mentioned at the very beginning. Eve's curse was this: "Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16)

And there in the last sentence is the linchpin that explains why (I believe) "egalitarian women are less happy in their marriages." We are living under the power of the curse if we are doggedly attempting to control our husbands and usurp their natural God-given role of head. Maybe that comes off a little too strong, but then again when there are two heads in a relationship, all you end up with is a two-headed monster. There's also logic behind the reason of why the USA isn't run by two Presidents.

But egalitarians may say that what they have going on is a partnership of sorts. Since when does the word "partnership" equate meaning with "equals." It doesn't. Webster's defines it as "a relationship between individuals or groups that is characterized by mutual cooperation and responsibility, as for the achievement of a specified goal." Well, frankly, that sounds like what more traditional models ascribe to as well. Since we're talking "traditional," we'll say that the husband is the primary provider of income, he pays the bills, mows the lawn, tends to the car maintenance, civic responsibilities etc. And the wife is the homemaker, takes care of the children, cooks, cleans, etc. In that scenario, it certainly sounds like both have mutual responsibilities and it sounds like both are living synergistically.

I love the definition for synergism: "the interaction of elements that when combined produce a total effect that is greater than the sum of the individual elements, contributions, etc. The joint action of agents, as drugs, that when taken together increase each other's effectiveness." Wow, what a great example of what a husband and wife can achieve based upon a divison of labor. Maybe you could say I have a "synergist" view of marital roles. :)

So if the curse for womankind is bound to the idea that we will desire to control our husbands, but we won't be able to, what then, can break the curse?

It starts with a dependence upon Christ and what He achieved by dying on the cross for our sins. He alone is able to give us a servant's heart and the humility needed to be a submissive wife. It certainly isn't easy, but then again, we were never told that it would be. More importantly, it is systematically killing our fleshly desires to make way for spiritual abundance. The word pride comes to mind. And isn't that what egalitarian wives are most likely fighting for? Over and over again through the Scriptures we see that we are to humble ourselves before the Lord and He will give us the grace we desperately need.

Oh Lord, may You give Your daughters the ability to humble ourselves before You and before our husbands. That when times get rough and we feel beaten down by the tasks given to us, that You will refresh our spirit with Your Word. May we honor our husbands by submitting to their headship, just as we would submit to You. Father, I know that my husband and I are equally loved by You. Lord give me a willing heart and hardworking hands to be a blessing to my family and those around me. Take away my pride and my longing to protect self. God, how I pray that You would be glorified through my day to day living.

Confessions of a Food Junkie, Part 2

In the last post I mentioned how my undying love of food has slowly begun to change the shape of my body. Go figure. In this post, I'll be attempting to tackle the other end of the health continuum, physical activity.

Growing up, I was always involved in some type of sport. It began with T-ball then flowed into softball, soccer, basketball, and tennis. Soccer proved to be my sport of choice, giving 9 years of my youth to it. I was definitely a kid who thoroughly enjoyed being outside instead of watching tv. Oh, how the tides have turned. When music became my passion, all other sports activities pretty much fizzled. I never did any intramural sports in college because those people were downright competitive, and I'd lost about 4 years of athletic skills. I did go to the gym in moderate spurts throughout college. Never could get a solid routine going for more than 3 months at a time though.

Nowadays, I don't do anything. Like most Americans, my day at work is spent staring at a computer screen, sitting on my rump, breathing. When I come home, I immediately begin dinner preparations and cleaning/organizing the house. I have been watching much less tv lately, but I'm still not using that time to do physical activity.

And it's not that I don't desire to be doing physical activity, I suppose I could rationalize it to the point of resources. To be honest, I've checked out several local gyms and fitness centers, and it's not the monthly fees that are horrendous, it's the dang membership fees and length of contract. Well, God must have heard the groanings and intercession of the Spirit on my behalf. Our church is offering an 8-week Boot Camp beginning on the 12th and it's only $20! Now that's what I'm talking about. Call me crazy for even considering it, because it begins at 5:45 a.m. and it's three days a week.

I truly am excited about it, even though I know my butt will be swiftly and appropriately kicked. Better yet, my husband will be there too; witnessing my feeble attempts at timed runs and push-ups. Somebody kill me now.

I know I said in the previous post that I don't have an "all or nothing" mentality, but for physical activity's sake, I do. It's more of a "do or die" thing for me. So in all seriousness, I covet your prayers for this. For continued motivation, the ability to get up that early, to not be cranky towards my husband, etc. I'm hoping that by having him do it with me, it will give me much needed accountability.

What are some of your secrets for long-lasting motivation or stamina? Having taken some courses in Behavior Modification, I know that rewards will have to come into play at some point. And sadly, they won't be edible rewards anymore. I'm thinking a manicure or something...

Confessions of a Food Junkie, Part 1

As of late, I have really been convicted of my eating habits and lack of physical activity. Well, it seems that everything has come to a head. I'd like to credit all of it to God for fitting in all of the pieces in a synergistic fashion.

Paved with good intentions
Growing up, I never had to worry about my weight or what I ate. In fact, obesity isn't an issue on either side of my family. But ever since becoming married, I succumbed to the "newlywed nine." Maybe it's unknowingly serving up myself a plate of the same portion that I dole out to my husband. Or since we've moved from a neighborhood to a condominium complex, I haven't been taking our dog on daily walks like I used to. Either way and for many more reasons than those, my clothes are ill-fitting. It dawned on me that the clothing industry will always provide a size of clothing to fit any shape I grow into or out of; i.e. there is no magical "ceiling" to stop me. I realized that I am an avid snacker too. Eating out of the box is such a bad habit for me! Nevermind the constant barrage of office parties or goodies that coworkers lure you with. And let's forget the fact that I majored in Health Promotion with a minor in Foods & Nutrition, geez...

So what caused a dramatic pause in my eating habits? Would you believe a section from my Bible study??

Flabbilicious and (not) loving it
I'm working through Shaunti Feldhahn's "For Women Only: what you need to know about the inner lives of men." Our theme for last week was entitled, "Keeper of the Visual Rolodex" which focused on men and the temptations they face since being so visually wired. I was quite shocked when on Day Five the focus shifted to the wife and her appearance. Huh? One of Shaunti's key points is that "a man wants to see that his wife cares enough about him to make an effort." Ouchie....all I seemed to be doing was complaining about my flabbiness with no effort to back it up. Not only do I want to be attractive to my husband, but I also need to respect my body according to God's standards.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20, "Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."

Romans 6:12-13, "Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires. Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God."

All-you-can-eat potlucks
Let's face facts, gluttony or overeating is something that the Church doesn't do a lot of talking about. (Can you imagine the squirming in the pews that would occur?) We hear about the problems of alcohol or drugs, but not necessarily those of food addiction. It comes down to a matter of self-control, which is one way others and yourself can see the Holy Spirit working in your life. Ironically, I think the first step is not only admitting to yourself that you struggle in the area of self-control, but also admitting it to others.

"Hi, my name is Megan and I'm an overeater."
I came clean with my addiction/lack of self-control the other night when my husband and I shared our prayer requests with each other. I also asked the girls in my Bible study for prayer. And while I don't have an accountability partner, I figure letting others know about it will only help me deal with the challenge.

Because I don't fit into the "all or nothing" mentality, I choose to make small, gradual changes instead. I've begun to incorporate more fruit in my diet. I actually adhere to the recommended serving size of a particular snack (so that's 3 tablespoons worth?). I even started keeping a list of "Things I've said 'No' to," like the Krispy Kreme glazed donuts gleaming at me in the staff meeting last week. "No" is a difficult word to say to my "old friends;" but I'm learning that if you never say "no," you'll never be able to say "yes" to a healthier body.

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed

I really hadn't heard that much press about the film, but it turns out that (surprise!) the media doesn't always promote nice little gems.

Essentially, Ben Stein attempts to shed light on the debate between Intelligent Design (ID) versus Darwinian theory of evolution. Just to give fair warning to Christian and non-Christian alike, this documentary is not out to claim that ID is specific to the Judeo-Christian God (i.e. Creationism) or any other god for that matter. It merely is a theory claiming that the created have a creator (my weak paraphrase).

The film is also not out to stake claim on which theory is correct. It instead shows the academic bias and lack of freedom in being able to even consider ID as a valid theory; read: politics. Nevertheless, Ben interviews several prominent researchers, scientists, and authors from both sides of the theories. Some of the scientists of the ID persuasion discuss how coming out as ID has left them jobless and unemployable. Still others were interviewed on the condition of anonymity and did so because of the potential implications. It is still difficult for me to believe that a gifted researcher could be fired simply for believing in ID, but sadly it is true. Stein claims that in today's scientific world, there is a complete lack of freedom for expressing ideas that challenge the status quo. Interestingly enough, he speaks with a Polish researcher who firmly believes that this is more of an American struggle instead of within the scientific community as a whole.

Stein also spent a considerable amount of time interviewing Richard Dawkins (The God Delusion, a NY Times bestseller), a staunch Darwinist and atheist. It was very informative to hear his personal thoughts regarding his beliefs in Darwin's theory and his own atheist views. (I'll be praying for him).

Ever since viewing the film, my mind has had much to chew on and I'm appreciative of that. On a philosophical level, this film did an amazing job of providing connections between Darwinism, atheism, Hitler, eugenics, and Planned Parenthood. Yes, all of those items are extremely controversial, and I would fail horribly to explain those connections, so I highly suggest you view the film instead. If you have already seen Expelled (or after you have seen it), please leave comments because I would love to discuss it with you.

Click here to visit the site for Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed. Cool feature: a discussion guide for free

Here is Pluggedin Online's review of the film

The name of "Jesus"

Last night, my husband and I along with millions of others watched American Idol's "Idol Gives Back" program. After a lot of pomp from celebrities and heart-wrenching videos of impoverished peoples, the finale song began. I about died when I heard Ryan Secreast utter, "Now singing "Shout to the Lord," once again, your American Idols..."



My jaw hit the floor as I stood there incredulously, missing the first few words of the song. I was in disbelief that on such a huge show as that night, they were singing a praise song?!

Leave it to my husband to ask, "Did they actually say 'My Jesus, my Savior...?'" Well, we rewound it and they didn't. It was replaced with "My Shepherd, my Savior..." Jesus is called the "Good Shepherd" dozens of times in Scripture. (John 10:11, 14-16, "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd").

I definitely would have preferred that they leave Jesus' name in the song, but at least they were singing "Shout to the Lord!"

There is no sweeter name than Jesus, and no such controversial name as His either. C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity wrote,

"I'm trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: 'I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God.' That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with a man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse."

So what do you think about "Shout to the Lord" being censored? Was all meaning of the song lost because "Jesus" was omitted, or do you think the overall message could still be accurately perceived?

Words that are Kind, Part II

Well, how did the weekly "Kindness Campaign" work for anyone? I know that I was doing pretty well until about day 6. The idea of having our words be a "life-giving fountain" gave my conversation much needed direction. It also reminded me that our words have power behind them.

In God's awesome power, He is able to speak things into existence. The creation account in Genesis 1 gives clear insight into how the world was created; with the divine imperative..."Let there be..."

...light. And it was so.

...a space between the waters, to separate the waters of the heavens from the waters of the earth. And it was so.

...waters beneath the sky flow together into one place, so dry ground may appear. And it was so.

He continued to create the universe(!) as we know it by a command of His voice.

Can you imagine what it would be like to have similar powers with our voice? I, for one, would be commanding silly things such as "Let there be ice cream sundaes" or "Let my walls be painted...teal! No, green! Maybe red?"

While we are not able to physically create anything out of nothingness by a simple command, we are able to help shape and influence others with our words. And that in turn can create positive or negative attitudes, behaviors, and actions.

In a previous post I mentioned that I was about to begin Shaunti Feldhahn's "For Women Only" Bible study with some girls from my Sunday school class. We met last night to discuss our first week of study and the challenges that were presented. One of which was to not say anything negative to our husbands or anything negative about them. Feldhahn's challenge was attempting to forge a direct link between our feelings and our actions. Judging by the responses of my groupmates, it had been a tough week. Yes, having only kind things to say is a difficult task indeed. But how do we attempt to accomplish that?

In 2 Corinthians 10:5, Paul instructs us to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." Clearly when I flippantly toss about an unkind word or monologue, I'm not taking the time to take those thoughts and sift them through Christ's love. As mentioned in Words that are Kind, there are oodles of proverbs that detail godly speech. Below are a few that continue to remind us to think first, then speak:

Proverbs 15:28, "The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words."

Proverbs 29:20, "There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking."

So this week's challenge on the Kindness Campaign is to slow your dang tongue down! Rein it in along with your thoughts before you speak. I'm convinced a few extra nanoseconds could be of benefit to us all in dealing with others.