391 years of marriage and still going...

I read an interesting article off of Foxnews.com yesterday that discussed a family where the siblings have racked up a total of 391 years of marriage between them! I don't think Hallmark has crafted an anniversary card for that amount of years. Along with enjoying a rare positive news article, I began smiling as the siblings detailed their "secrets" to a long lasting union:

• "attribute their marital success in large part to the moral example set by their late parents" (The father was a Christian minister and they were wedded for 58 years).


• "the belief that marriage is for life"


• [On their parents' marriage]"They always showed respect for each other, which made us know that was part of marriage. There wasn't a lot of verbal advice. You just watched them and knew how it was done."

My favorite portion came later in the article by a history professor:

• "Coontz, who has studied marriage trends for 25 years, said many marriages that began in the 1950s ended as more women entered the work force in subsequent decades. That wasn't an issue for the Estes siblings; all the wives were homemakers." (Emphasis mine).

Interesting, eh? I would love to explore the reasons and possibilities behind this issue. I know it's silly, but every time I read something that points out how Biblical principles are put into action and work, I think "Yep. God knew what He was doing." Well, of course He does! But the modern feminism movement wouldn't allow you to even go visit that idea in your mind. There are countless articles, blogs, sites, etc. that detail the plague of modern feminism, so I won't go there, at least for this post. I have a great e-book entitled "The Feminist Mistake" by Mary Kassian which I'm looking forward to reading; and no doubt I'll post about its content in the future.

So I'm curious to know and I'll have to think back myself, out of the housewives you know or have known, what did the longevity of their marriages look like? And yes, I do realize that it's not always quantity but quality that counts, but I'm just curious. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

Kitchen Remodeling Update

I apologize for the delay in between posts. Nothing has really grabbed my attention as of late. The kitchen is pretty much in the same state I last told you about. However, we have regained a bit of our den/floor space back since Habitat ReStore came and collected our stove and all the cabinets. It is much more open again and looks less junky :)

The great fantastic news is that the contractor and crew will be coming on Monday (!) to begin work. And get this, the guy estimated that it would take only 2 days (?!) to complete. Yes, I know our kitchen is small, but I'd be very surprised if it took only 2 days given the amount of work that needs to be done (electrical, plumbing, sheetrocking, etc.). Once the crew is finished, our cabinet installation team will be coming. Heck I don't care if it takes a week. I am just relieved since I had prepared myself that we wouldn't have a kitchen until mid March. I might instead have a brand new one by next weekend!!! Hallelujah!

I've caught myself while at work daydreaming of what our kitchen will look like. In all honesty, I have a concept of what it will look like, only because I did not design it or pick out the cabinets, appliances, or countertops. Yes, you read that right. My husband chose all of it. He has great taste generally speaking. That minor discrepancy did not come to light until I mentioned it to my sister. I can remember her shrieking, "What?! How were you not involved in choosing your kitchen? It's the woman's domain!" Even though I wish I could've been the designer of our kitchen, for some odd reason, it didn't really bother me. Mainly because I trust my husband. He picked out brand new appliances and everything else so why should I need to worry? He's an avid watcher of anything HGtv so there again, he knows what nice kitchens look like.

I have gotten to choose some of the fun details of the kitchen like the hardware and the pendant lights. Both are gorgeous. The hardware is very modern, stainless steel, and sleek. I also chose a cute fork handle that will be on the silverware drawer. I figured everyone always asks "Where's the silverware?" Now all they'll have to do is look for the fork handle. :)

I also chose bin pulls for the rest of the drawers. The pendant lights I chose are two bold colored Tiffany shades that will be over the main bar/countertop area. I like the eclectic combination of modern and vintage. It suits me :) I am just so excited to see it come together! And I'm looking forward to posting pictures for your viewing pleasure. :)

Kitchen Remodeling

I probably should have been taking photos of the demolition so far of our kitchen or lack thereof. The former avid scrapbooker in me is kicking herself. I promise I'll try to remember to take some photos and definitely post some before & afters.

In the meantime, use your imagination:

• all cabinets have been pried off of the walls
• sheetrock dust has an unbelievable knack for going in every room of the house despite where the work is actually occuring
• the fridge is in our den now
• there is a huge pile of doors, nails, baseboards, sheetrock, studs lying beside the couch
• I've been dustbusting constantly, fearful of splinters and rabid dust bunnies
• our entire pantry is either a) on the utility table b) under the utility table c) lying on the guest bed d) residing in the guest bedroom closet
• the light switch panels are dangling by their wires only
• there will be no oven/stove come Monday (!!!)
• our downstairs neighbor probably hates us by now and most likely won't be talking to us once this remodel is finished

I've actually been adjusting pretty well considering. Please pray for patience, contentment, and adaptation. God willing, the entire kitchen remodel will be completed in early March. I am honestly not looking forward to all of the restaurant meals we will be eating; because of cost and nutrition. I'm hoping that my electric griddle will come in handy... hibachi chicken anyone? And can I get an Amen for the inventor of the microwave?

Loving the Lost

Earlier this week during my Bible study I came across this quote,

"We are given small windows of opportunity to show God's love in tangible ways."

Jesus' mission on earth was to redeem the lost, the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners. If you're a Christian today, you were once lost too. So how come as Christians we find it so hard to relate to lost people? Maybe because the very word relate depends upon the fact that we develop relationships?! Right there's a clue. And I may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but I figure if we're not in relationships with lost people, we sure won't be able to relate to them easily. And lest you forget, we do have a common thread: we are all image-bearers of the one true God.

Jesus had the uncanny ability of living in this world, yet He was not of it. He didn't care who He was hanging out with; the sinners, the prostitutes, the tax collectors, the lepers, etc. So why should I? He developed relationships with them. He invested Himself into their lives while on earth, yea unto His death even!

Might I propose some insight as to why Jesus was able to accomplish both? Everything Jesus did was intentional. Intentional is defined as "being characterized by conscious design or purpose;
done or made or performed with purpose and intent." Never on earth has there been a man of such purpose. And while hanging out with these sordid types, His conversations were thought-provoking to say the least. He talked about God, sin, eternity, love, hope. I wish I had the ability to see through peoples' facades like Jesus did. He played no games, He cut to the core and dismantled the beliefs and values that people were clinging to by asking simple questions. Yet He did so with love and humility.

I'll admit it. I am stuck in the proverbial Christian bubble. It's a nice place where you know your friends share the same beliefs. You can let your hair down. You can blast your Christian music. The only time I am around or should I say in the vicinity of lost people is at work, my condo community, and while doing errands; a pretty limited scope of interaction. Yet all the more reason to really do something about it and be intentional with loving the lost and sharing the Gospel.

I've been reading the book "Revolution in World Missions" by K.P. Yohannan and some chapters have been extremely convicting. I'd say the one that hit me the most discussed how Christians have begun to equate helping/serving/relief work as evangelism. Yes, we do need to show God's love to others by doing all of the aforementioned things, but we are missing an extremely crucial element if we are not telling them of the Gospel. By taking care of only someone's physical needs and not spiritual needs as well, we are doing them a disservice. Likewise, vice versa. We must show God's love to others by serving them and by sharing the story of His Son.

A great illustration of this is found in James 2:14-16, "What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?"

Loving the lost requires that we take risks by developing relationships and that we truly love them. While fully recognizing their spiritual condition we should not let that determine or affect how we love them. We don't love them any less than we would our own flesh and blood! We needn't worry about that imaginary white elephant in the room.

Heart-check:

• Am I honestly concerned for lost people? Jesus wept over Jerusalem and its need for peace. When was the last time I was that moved or actually cried over someone who is lost?
• Am I accepting active responsibility for ministering to them? Or is that just for super spiritual people to do?

Get real:

• When was the last time I really shared the Gospel with someone I know is lost?
• Am I willing to get messy and develop a real relationship with them?
• What is hindering me from doing so? Embarassment? Pride? Apathy? Fear?
• When I'm talking to a lost person am I exuding humility? Am I speaking Christianese? Jesus was able to be humble and speak an everyday vernacular with the common folk.

Just do it a.k.a. because-I'm-commanded-to-do-so!:

• What ways can I show tangible ways of God's love to someone specifically in my life? (Read James 2 for insight)
• Share the Gospel and live life with lost people (1 Thessalonians 2:8)

Watered down theology

I'm currently reading the book "Building Strong Families" that is a compilation of several great authors: John Piper, Wayne Grudem, Dennis Rainey, and more. The chapter I'm reading now is "The Husband as Prophet, Priest, and King." To give you a preface, since the husband serves as the head of the household, he must likewise serve in the same ways as Christ served the church; prophet, priest, and king.

While most husbands choose not to go into vocational ministry or receive a doctorate in theology, whether they realize it or not, God has chosen them to be the resident theologians within our homes. Therefore, as wives if we are not clear on a doctrinal belief, we should be able to freely discuss the questions with our husbands and expect a sound answer.

Now I realize that not every man is interested in theology, nor do they always know the answer themselves, but every believer (male and female) is instructed to "always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. . " (1 Peter 3:15). Additionally, Paul writes, "If they have any questions, they should ask their husbands at home..." (1 Corinthians 14:35). Douglas Wilson, Reforming Marriage, writes "The tragedy is that many modern women have to wonder why the Bible says they should have to ask their husbands. . . . a husband must be prepared to answer his wife’s doctrinal questions, and if he cannot, then he must be prepared to study so that he can remedy the deficiency."

The quote that made me literally say "Ouch" out loud after I read it however was this:

"Wilson astutely observes that husbands are to blame for the theological breakdown in the church today. “The evangelical world,” he writes, “is throwing away its theological heritage because of doctrinal faithlessness in Christian homes. It is true that pulpits across our country are filled with a swamp and morass of anecdotes, sentimentalist yawp, yippy-skippy worship, and make-it-up-as-you-go-along theology; but the heads of Christian homes have been willing to have it so. As the expectations for men in the evangelical world have gotten lower, men have not objected—they have breathed a sigh of relief.”

Ouch again. Whew.....it seems even more convicting with each time I read it. Now please don't misunderstand my reasoning behind this post. It was not meant to bash our husbands, create contempt, etc. It was meant to establish and affirm the importance of our husbands being the prophets or resident theologians within our homes.

As wives though, I don't think we can completely let ourselves off the hook either. How many times have I simply gone to a Christian website to research a topic without asking my husband first? And while I'm not saying that our husband's take is the only one we should seek, I am saying that we should come to them first with our questions. How many times have I unintentionally not allowed him to rightly take his place as prophet within the home? By going to our husbands first, I do think that that will only foster confidence and challenge them to up their theological game.

Sewing help, please!

I came this close to buying a sewing machine last week. Aside from debating the price tags on the machines, I'll admit it: I don't know much about sewing. I see the obvious value of owning one, and I'm crafty as it is, so I figured why not?

I'm a hesitant shopper regarding most things, and considering the price tag on most sewing machines, even lesser expensive ones ($80+), I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I am scared that I'll go on a sewing binge and then store it away for a decade until I bring it back out.

This is my call for help here. If you're experienced or maybe just a wannabe like me, please feel free to comment. For now, please adjust your answers to a beginner's needs if you're able to do so.

1. What features are truly necessary on a machine? Which ones are not?



2. Is brand name really that important? Is there a difference in quality for example?



3. Besides the obvious machine, what other items should be purchased to get started and for basic projects? And how much would a minimum investment be?



4. Is it truly cost saving to create most items?? (I worry that I'll end up spending far more on the fabric or notions than it would actually cost to buy from somewhere like TJ Maxx or Ross).



5. Do you need to buy a Sewing 101 type of book or take a class to learn sewing? Or is it possible to just experiment on your own and be self-taught?



6. What have been the biggest challenges in learning sewing?



7. If you knew then what you know now, what would that be?
   

If I think of anything else, I'll update my questions. All comments are welcome, regardless if you respond to the aforementioned items :)

I already have a project in the queue so to speak; it's a great apron pattern that I'll post later once I get started on it.

My Titus 2 Woman

What should you look for in a godly female role model?

Look no further than Titus 2:3-5, "Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God."

My Titus 2 woman is Linda whom I met about a year and a half ago. Her husband Jim was our Bible Fellowship class leader. Before I met Linda, I never knew there could be godly women with larger than life personalities. Somewhere along my way of learning about good Christian women, this idea of a timid little mouse had infiltrated my ideals. And sadly I became kind of brainwashed to that concept all the while beginning to dislike myself. You see, if you're wacky and spunky like me, I began to think there was no place for this girl in the Kingdom. (Maybe I could be the court jester)? I can see clearly how Satan lies to us through these crazy myths that so easily entangle us; only self-sabotaging the life that God calls us to live in abundance.

Well, Linda blew that myth out of the water. Here was a woman who lit up a room much like firecrackers light up the sky. She was full of energy, robust, feisty, sincere, funny, and to sum her up completely, passionate. The more time we spent together, the more I realized that it was okay to be myself. I wrote her a letter one time thanking her for giving me permission so as to speak, to be me. Not only did she have a joie de vie, she knew Who she belonged to.

When you finally have an epiphany of the heart that yes, God does love you for who you are, at your best, at your worst, and no, nothing will ever change that, you are suddenly free. Free to be who He created you to be. The girl who loves clothes, and the girl who could care less. The geek. The prep. The tomboy. The artist. The techie. The tree-hugger. The drama queen. We will all be represented in Heaven one day. And that is a very beautiful thing.

Linda, despite her dominant personality, can easily display her gentle submissiveness to her husband. You can tell when she looks at him that she honestly admires him. He leads, she follows. She always praises him to others and finds delight while doing so.

She's been a great model to show the complementary nature of marriage; headship and submission, masculinity and femininity, love and respect, give and take. I intentionally used and instead of versus because these areas should not compete with one another. They are both equally valued and therefore equally necessary to provide balance.

God knew what He was doing when He created the gift of relationship. The idea of older and younger women coming together to share life, wisdom, laughs, and so much more is brilliant. Every woman needs a friend who's a safety net that will gently catch her and help her back up on her feet when she falls. If you don't have a Titus 2 woman in your life, I encourage you to take the risk and initiative in asking someone who's caught your eye. And consider this, if you're already older, there may be a younger woman who's looking at you! I hope that I won't forget the cycle of the Titus 2 woman; that it's not always being the younger woman who's taught, but also the older woman who passes down wisdom.